I find the whole top and bottom dynamic between men fascinating. These days I’ve really found my place as a bottom, and I love it. I’ve topped, bottomed and been vers plenty of times over the years, but what I’ve realised is that it’s the polarity that really turns me on. Whether I’m the top or the bottom, I like knowing where I fit with another man, feeling that difference in energy between us and leaning completely into it. Most of the time these days that’s as a bottom, but every now and then I’ll meet a particular kind of guy and something shifts. I look at him and think: yeah, I want you.

I used to top a lot more than I do now, and when I do these days, I don’t just want it to be about sex. I want to make love. I want to treat my bottom like he’s my man. I want to hold him close, look into his eyes and be completely present with him. There’s something incredibly sexy to me about feeling someone gradually relax because he trusts me, and feeling that trust make me want to hold him even closer. The more he lets his guard down, the more that protective, masculine side of me comes out. It’s almost a virtuous circle between us.

Physically, I love being bigger than my bottom. There’s something about wrapping my arms around a smaller man and feeling the contrast between our bodies that immediately brings out that side of me. I want him to notice my size and strength when I pull him against me. I want him to feel safe enough in my arms that he can stop thinking about everything else for a while and simply let me take the lead.

But being beautiful isn’t actually enough to catch my attention. It’s the energy that does it. I’m drawn to a man who knows he’s a bottom and genuinely enjoys that part of himself. Someone sweet, masculine and capable of vulnerability. Someone who takes pride in himself and his body. There’s something incredibly attractive about a man who can look me directly in the eyes and let me know, without having to say very much at all, that he wants me to take the lead.

There’s also something beautiful about the trust involved. I love that moment when a man lets his guard down with me and allows that softer, more vulnerable side of himself to come through. That’s the part that gets inside my head. It’s not just about finding someone physically attractive. It’s the feeling that he wants to give himself to me, and that he trusts me enough to do it.

Which brings me to Mehdi.

From the moment we started spending time together, he had so many of those qualities. He’s gorgeous, obviously, but it was the combination that got me: his physique, his sweetness, his confidence and that unmistakable energy underneath it all. There was no ambiguity about the chemistry between us. Being around him made me want to be the bigger man, pull him into me and take the lead.

And that’s probably what I find sexiest of all. Every so often you meet someone where neither person really needs to explain the dynamic. You look at each other and somehow you both already know.

With Mehdi, I knew.

And apparently you guys agreed. This has become my most popular top video yet. You can watch Mehdi and me now in More Zac.